Current mood:

devious

American Idol

Tonight was quite possibly the most bizarre episode yet, at least for this season.  First off, I think that Bocelli’s sidekick might have been sabotaging them all!  He actually nodded encouragingly at Kellie’s ear-splitting falsetto (she unchained it alright).  He told Katharine to add that gritty growling thing that was really the only fault I found with the vocals of the song because it made her expression really hard to follow and relate to the song.  *Angry, serious, I mean business look* …“Don’t walk away from me…” *Big toothy smile*  Yikes.  He apparently arranged Elliott’s song poorly (I didn’t notice), and I’m beginning to think he might’ve been behind Paris’ hair!  I’ve no squabble with making Chris take it to the floor though, no siree.  Even the judges seemed annoyed by him, commenting multiple times on contestants getting bad advice and terrible arrangements.  Methinks the claws were out and the fur was flying this week.

Okay, so Katharine is up first and she sings Whitney and throughout I’m thinking that it’s pretty good, though I didn’t hear any reason to skip the original for her version.  I worried her boobs would pop out, learned she has a mole near her left nipple (or she forgot to use a bib for her pre-show snack), and just generally felt she was over-acting it all a bit.  Les Miserables called and they want their theatrics back.  I was also feeling bad about the panty lines, right up until she popped the dress buttons and flashed her under-roos.  Good grief.  All in all I can’t say the performance didn’t stress me out a bit.  Right down to the required shot of her father’s tears which may or may not have been about the underwear fiasco, hard to tell.  I guess it got to the judges too because they were even harsher than called for, meandering on about not singing the greats if you can’t sing them and such.  It wasn’t as good as last week, but it wasn’t as bad as they said.  It’s quite possible they know she’ll drop after last week’s rebound and they’re setting us up to feel bad for her and vote, vote, vote.  Then Ryan comes out and tops it off with saying something about it being great if the sound was off, and seriously …I’m kind of agog.  She does need to work on not looking so completely astounded at criticism though; it doesn’t play in her favor.  The boobs and underwear?  Might.

Elliott comes out next and that David Foster chewed him up and spit him out all over the place.  The only thing he didn’t complain about was the fact that Elliott gets himself drowned out every damn week and sure enough, he ended a perfectly superb performance by allowing himself not to be heard for the last few bars.  It was good - really, really good but I wish he’d ended stronger.  I felt like he ran out of steam.  Mostly, it was good though.  Then, THEN, we get the funniest moment ever when Paula is streaming tears, draping herself across the desk and reaching out for poor Elliott like *he* can somehow save her and in the corner of the screen, over her writhing back we see Simon laughing his ass off!  Oh my gosh, I seriously have never experienced a more beautiful television moment than that.  He didn’t even ruin it by taking a cheap shot; he just suppressed his giggles enough to give Elliott some praise.  It was pure perfection.

I also truly hope you did not miss Foster’s face when Kellie started singing?  After his comments on the first two, I couldn’t have been the only one who couldn’t wait to see what he thought of Kellie!  It was classic, his look of horror/amazement/fear.  The fear when he realized he was supposed to coach her!  I actually kind of like Kellie, I can’t help it, but goodness it was bad from the start.  Rehearsal was bad; his advice was horrible …I was covering my ears while he was egging on that high note.  Thank God Ace is gone, I shudder to think of what I’d have sat through from him on their advice.  Anyway, bad song choice, boring as dirt due to her complete disconnect from the song.  It was terrible.  Just like last week, she started okay and I thought maybe she’d pull it off, but no dice.  She should go home, but I don't see it happening yet. 

Paris sang Streisand, apparently better than Streisand since no one mentioned to her that you shouldn't sing the greats unless you can do it better; guess they used that all up on Katharine.  She looked ridiculous again this week if you ask me.  Then again, I was sort of stuck on her pre-song comments about being young and having to be careful when choosing a love song and for a second I thought, “she’s finally getting the disconnect between her song choices and her persona” …then she said she doesn’t so much have romantic feelings but just memories …?  Memories?  The way we were at 12?  Bwah.  Then go ahead, and sure, why not sing a poignant song about loss with a cheeky little smile the whole way through?  You go girl.  Wasn’t her best week.  I did appreciate that they were in a hurry by then and didn’t dwell on her usual after-performance self-induced glow.

Taylor picked a song I like a lot (Just Once) and did okay with it but I really expected more.  He seemed very tempered and almost as though he wasn’t all there tonight.  It wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t great either.

Then the Heavens opened again this week during the last spot of the show, but this time for Chris.  We even really had the harpists, I mean guitarists, and the sun was shining again on American Idol.  Look, I love Chris and I enjoyed the song and I *think* Simon said it was sexy to which I’d agree, but even I can recognize attempts to rebound him from the bottom three when I see them.  It was good, but not quite as astounding as it was set up to be I don’t think.  By then it kind of appeared the judges were just tired of following the script anyway and they just went off on the “we love you, that coat is da bomb” thing and waved it on through.  The look was good, it was a solid performance and it certainly didn’t diminish the hotness factor one little bit.   

My bottom three:  Kellie, Paris, Taylor

Actual bottom three:  Kellie, Paris, Katharine

Paris goes home.  I think Paris has a lot of potential, but it’s just not there yet.  Give her ten years, and I’d be interested to see what she can do.  Can’t honestly say I’ll miss her though.

Pretty much I hated the theme this week, and frankly, I fear to hear who’s coming to visit next.  Not for a moment do I think these themes are chosen for their ability to show diversity and chops (from 50’s to standards to love songs …?  Yeah, keep stretching.).  Scared I tell ya.