American Idol

This week our remaining seven tackled “The Standards”, since Rod Stewart happened to be free this week.  I must give a little credit to Rod; he did put forth an effort (either that or the editing team went above and beyond; could be either one).  He didn’t have an overabundance of advice for most of them, but he was encouraging and once again since they weren’t his songs there wasn’t that whole territorial growling thing going on.  He’s no Barry, but he could certainly teach Shakira a thing or two about public relations and probably give her a few hair styling tips as well, if he were so inclined.

The judges raved about how well “The Standards” suited the contestants, which was nice for us for last night but maybe not so promising given that most of the songs were written over fifty years ago.  Classics they are, but relevant?  I’m not so sure.  If I’m gonna listen to the Standards I’m probably going for the singer that made it something I’ll never forget to begin with.  Then next I’ll probably go with oh, I dunno…Rod’s recently made album involving all these songs?  I can see one of these making it as an extra track on the AI winner’s album, but an entire album of it, doubtful.  Also doubtful that an entire album of new songs in this vein would be a big hit these days, so really, we can all just admit it was all about the fact that Rod was free last week and leave it at that.  I’m not sure exactly when the “theme” nights became dictated solely by the schedules of people that are already famous, but whatever.  At least the losers can go home having met some cool people!

Simon acted as if he just returned from a long weekend spent in a hammock an arm's reach from a tropical bar.  Mellow, complimentary, smiling …did anyone notice if Paula’s drink had two straws?  It was bizarre. 

Chris – Dude!  It’s about time.  I don’t think you had one more week out of the bottom three coming had you stayed on the track you were on.  In fact, you might just be brilliant and I might just have been wrong thinking that you needed to do this sooner.  It was the perfect theme to switch up on, and it came when even some of your biggest fans (me) were feeling fed up.  Somehow it felt like something we’ve waited forever for and therefore garnered even bigger satisfaction than it maybe should have.  It was a great job.

Paris - *Sigh*  (Do I sigh every week when I start talking Paris?  It feels familiar…) It was good.  The outfit was a bit …bank president on the first day of spring, but the hair was nice.  I think Paris suffers from an identity crisis of the highest magnitude.  It makes sense really, given her famous roots.  She’s also been deciding between a singing career and a gynecological career, which could also explain the wildly swinging pendulum of clothing choices.  She’s seventeen; I don’t care if she knows who she wants to be yet.  It would, however, be nice if she could figure out who she is for this little five-month microcosm of her life.  It was a very good vocal performance.  She still feels like she’s “acting” when she sings, as does Katharine a lot of the time.  While I agree that this was her best by far since the auditions, I think we’ve yet to see an authentic Paris performance.

Taylor – I didn’t much care about the beginning, I think I could’ve sung that just as well with a karaoke machine and some back up.  The end was MUCH better, though I’d stop short of magical.  I didn’t get any of that special pixie dust Simon’s been inhaling though, so it’s no surprise. 

Elliott – Look.  I really think Elliott is a nice guy and his home video last week definitely did a little to endear him to me.  He’s obviously overcome some things to get here and I’m impressed with him.  He’s just boring though.  I listen and I don’t think he sucks, but neither do I remember much about it five minutes later.  I could see he was trying to look less nervous and be personable …but I don’t know.  Something is just missing in the star quality department.  I think he really needed a break out performance this week and he didn’t give one.  The other thing is, the music ALWAYS drowns him out.  I have no idea whose fault that is, but someone should do something about it or he should dump the band and go it alone.

Kellie – The beginning was really, really good.  Then it just fell apart.  She seemed to be rushing and obviously didn’t think she was going to pull it off or something.  Kellie’s confidence in the face of everything is what sells her.  She has (fake or not) a way of being unassuming, yet confident and that’s fairly rare in these competitions.  She *always* takes the judges criticism well – without fail.  She doesn’t talk back, shake her head in superiority, or sniff at their comments.  People like that.  People always root for someone who is trying to pull herself up by her boot straps, so to speak, and I think that’s exactly what Kellie portrays with the help of carefully edited home tapes and her own propensity for carefully placed blonde moments.  It wasn’t a good performance, but I doubt it’s going to matter.  She should be in the bottom three, but I don’t think she will be.  Her supporters know she won’t be singing this kind of music and don’t much care if she slaughtered that song or not.  Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on your view.

Ace – Good golly.  That miniature ponytail frightened me.  First I thought it was a bun back there (seriously!), and then I had scary flashes of Ace as a Sumo wrestler and mostly I just spent the entire song trying to figure out what that really *was* on the back of his head.  I disagree with Randy that his “money” is in the “fals”.  I HATE the falsetto!  I can’t help it.  So anyway, apparently it wasn’t a breathtaking enough performance for me to stop craning my neck at the back of his head.

Katharine – It undoubtedly was her night.  Last spot, special lighting, and a camera threatening to disappear right up her nose.  Anybody else keep inching back on the couch a bit just to be safe?  She certainly proved herself as capable of camera licking as Ace is.  Great vocals, she looked beautiful, and it all would’ve had a bigger impact if AI hadn’t decided to overdo it.  She was in a different league entirely all right.  They might as well have announced her name and opened the floodgates of Heaven complete with angels on harps.  Obvious much?  IT”S KATHARINE’S SPECIAL MOMENT EVERYONE!  Except no.  It was manufactured.  Those special moments happen when we least expect them, when the voice and the person come together and you just can’t stop watching.  It probably could’ve been her special moment; she should thank AI for usurping it.

It was an enjoyable week, MUCH better than last week.  I look forward to Rod singing tonight.  I also look forward to a week when the contestants can just choose a song they want to sing, that’d be so novel.

My bottom three:  Kellie, Ace, Elliott

Actual bottom three prediction:  Ace, Elliott, Paris (or Katharine if I wasn’t the only one rebelling against the overt “THE BEST” treatment she got last night – it wouldn’t be right but it wouldn’t surprise me)

God help us if Snoop Dogg has a light schedule this week.