The best part was watching Queen declare before every singer’s appearance that, once again, they didn’t have a shot at meeting Queen fans’ expectations but hey, nice try.  Never has it been more apparent that the band is there for self-promotional purposes (I’m not blaming them either) than it was this week.  Poor Ace was struck down at attempts to make the song his own (pfft, as if) at every turn.  “Nuh uh, not to *our* song you won’t!”  Wow.  This only upholds my belief that they should utilize artists interested in helping (as in, when they balk at meeting the contestants they are NOT interested in helping) and then use them to help with other artists’ songs, not their own!  Barry Manilow week is the perfect example and the only time thus far that I really felt the guest artist was of assistance to the contestants, as in they actually learned something.  I don’t blame the bands a bit, if they can get that kind of television exposure before a tour, release, whatever…who can blame them?  The producers need to get a handle on it though, or it’s going to become very trying, very fast.

Bucky -  The dreaded opening spot is not a good sign.  (I mistyped and put “not a good sing” to start with, which is also not a good sign)  Honestly, while Bucky will not, nor should he, win this contest…it really wasn’t bad tonight.  In fact, I thought he was pretty decent.  He has a knack for choosing songs that make him appear better than he is, vocally.  He also puts a bit of heart into his performances.  I really can’t knock it. 

Ace -  Two points for the semi-coherent conversation with Ryan.  I think you put more words together than you have all season and most of them even kind of fit together.  I would, however, pay good, hard-earned money to watch you and Paula have an in-depth discussion about…oh, anything.  The wind maybe?

Ace:  “Something is making the leaves move in the trees!”  *hair shake*, *sexy encouraging smile*

Paula:  It’s like…Ace!  It’s like…you’re so…there’s this pink in your cheeks from maybe  something…something makes you look…you just have this pinkness about you!  It’s bedazzling.  Just keep doing what you’re doing.”

Ace:  “Don’t you feel it?”  *Holds finger up next to ear*  “It’s really strong!  It’s as though it really is still my turn to feel it, ya know?  The breeze is blowing through me, flushing out my talents!  Oh my God, all this time it’s been that stupid hat keeping it all locked inside!  I feel it!”

Paula:  “Ace!  It just doesn’t…matter…hat, no hat, wind blowing through …your head …or not.  You have it!  I …you should make a …I’d buy it right now!  Just stand there with your hat head and in … your gloriousness and America loves you!”

Just ugh.  I didn’t think it was as bad as everyone else apparently did though, so go figure.  It wasn’t anything special, but I thought the judges were unusually hard on Ace this week.

Kellie – You lucky little mink.  ;)  When I heard your song choice, I pictured every hound dog south of the Mason Dixon howling along merrily for a few moments before even they ran to hide their ears.  But no.  It wasn’t good exactly, but are definitely this weeks benefittor of the “We Thought You’d Totally Blow It” award.  Therefore, you’re more than safe.  The judges apparently had really low expectations for you, given the praise they heaped on whoever’s head of hair that was you were wearing.  Nobody but nobody fresh off the farm can leap around in heels like that either, so America has their answer to the great “is she or isn’t she” question.  Tarantulas on your eyes and daddy’s fishin’ hip waders on stilts for your feets, right Kellie?  Frightening outfit, someone take Paula’s crack from the stylists, stat.

Chris – Alright.  Time for a reality check.  If you’re not intending to win this contest but are instead using this time to audition for any bands out there looking for a lead, then keep on keeping on.  Otherwise, cut it already.  I love ya man, but it’s really gotten old.  This week’s song choice defies explanation entirely.  Even great vocals couldn’t have saved that (not that I could count on you to prove that this week, apparently) mess of a song that almost NO ONE knows.  It was like one lyric, screamed over and over and over.  You’re quite a performer and you can sing and somehow it wasn’t as horrible as it should have been, but still, I don’t know what you’re thinking.  Much as I love you, I think you maybe need to see the bottom three for a wake-up call.  At this point, song choice is critical and that was a huge miscalculation.  Randy and Paula heaping praise honestly didn’t help either, those that love you will think you’re always safe and everyone else won’t vote for you purely because Simon was right, it was indulgent.  Not to mention loud.  I’ve loved you since the audition…don’t fail me now!  *sniff*

Katharine – Another song choice issue, in my opinion.  That’d be because I didn’t like the song, lol.  Not that I can remember what it was, which is the whole point.  Plus, sometimes, it was screechy.  It had moments, but it was really kind of all over.  You’re gorgeous, you have the look but you and Paris both suffer from not connecting enough with your songs.  It’s just pretty clear to me that you’ve no idea what you’re singing about and even if you did know, you couldn’t relate.  That becomes a problem at this point in the game.

Elliott – Eh.  I don’t know, I pretty much feel the same every week about you any more.  It’s just kind of there, not great, not terrible.  That’s the kiss of death if you ask me.  You should thank the stylists profusely though, it’s almost as though your ears have magically retracted into your head.  I’m impressed.  Hey, like Paula said, you gave an “Elliott Yamin performance”, so whatever the hell that means.  At least she didn’t say you “aced” it, right?  

Taylor – Absolutely the best of the night.  Picked a memorable song that the crowd could get into AND didn’t misstep with it.  You either have to stop traffic with something wonderful and original OR you have to involve the people and not let them forget that you did.  Either works, and Taylor was the smartest this week.  It was over the top, yes, but it was fun and he was by far the most comfortable and after everyone else, I for one needed someone to just get up there and sing it like they meant it.

Paris – I really didn’t like it, but what do I know?  Vocally it was probably somewhere in the middle of the pack for me, but sheesh, that outfit and the whole “show” of it was just icky.  She’s just too young, they need to tone it down a bit.  Yes, I’m completely reaching and I’ll admit it.  I want her gone.  She’s not growing in the least, in fact may be one of the only ones who has made NO effort to grow or learn, because she thinks she’s got it down already.  I beg to differ.  Drives me nuts.

Nice to see the judges play a bit nicer this week because with all the drama in the lyrics we might all have pulled our triggers if Simon and Paula started caterwauling at each other. 

My choice for bottom three:  Paris, Elliott, Chris (I still love you, I swear!)

Actual bottom three prediction:  Katharine, Ace, Bucky  - Ace leaves.  If Bucky leaves this week, I’ll be ticked.  This was one of his better performances.  He’ll mess it all up sooner or later and then we can send him home fair and square.  Bucky has improved over time, Ace, on the other hand has not.  It’s time, a GQ spread and Orbitz gum commercials await.